'The Honey Snatcher'

If Tyrann is the 'Honey Badger'...then Shabbazz is the 'Honey Snatcher.

'I finally made it.  After years of dominating the AAU and prep circuits with rather deft ease, I now get the chance to prove myself as a professional in the National Basketball Association.  Yeah, I had to spend a year at some uppity university in California first, and play with some scrubs not one-fifteenth as good as me, which contributed to my plummeting draft stock.  But that's over with and really doesn't mean anything because I'm here now.  In the League. 

Get me on the court and I'm trouble.  6-foot 8-inches tall with a 7-foot wingspan and a smooth lefty stroke?  Teams that passed on me will PAY.  Just look at how I dominated the summer league.  I got everything going for me.  Plus, I look good doing it.

Only thing standing in my though is this dumbass rookie bootcamp I gotta attend.  Really though, what's with all the goddamn rules???  I mean, I get that there's rules and errythang, but, why should they apply to me?  I've never been in trouble for anything before in my life.  And even when they try to throw something at me, I just duck and dodge it.  Nothing sticks to me...I'm basketball's 'Teflon Don'. 

They're trippin. I'm a baller in every sense of the word, and U.O.E.N.O. it.  I'mma have all types of bottles poppin' and honeys at my hotel on the road when the season starts anyway.  Why I gotta wait for the season to start???  You know what...damn these rules!  They can't get me anyway.  I'm Shabbazz Muhammad.  Made man.  The untouchable honey snatcher.'

NBA Trash Talk: 'Bad Person' of the Week; 1st Edition

Known in the NBA for being a punk, Stiemsma had this coming for a while now.

Who's deserving of the ADEDS NBA Trash Talk 'Bad Person' of the Week?  Is it Matt Barnes for taking out his tough guy aggressions on obviously the most threatening big man in the NBA, Minnesota Timberwolves F/C Greg 'The Steamer' Stiemsma?  Is it Metta World Peace for once again disturbing the peace with his QB-manhug and chin inspection of Detroit Pistons G Brandon Knight?  Maybe DeMarcus Cousins being T'd up for the 732nd time this season on his way to being ejected for arguing a call while both teams were walking towards the lockerooms for halftime?  I got it; it has to be Kobe Bryant for calling out Dwight Howard for missing games while nursing a torn labrum, very unsurreptitiously telling 'Superman' that AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!  All of those people, make no mistake, are very bad people, and they should feel bad, but they do not win the ADEDS NBA Trash Talk 'Bad Person' of the Week award.  That honor goes to former NBA point guard and current Golden State Warriors head coach Mark Jackson.
You see, Jackson's Warriors were getting lit up from 3-point by the Rockets in Houston last week, to the tune of an NBA-record tying 23 makes from distance that contributed to a 140 spot on the scoreboard. Towards the end of the game, however, when Coach Mark caught wind of Houston being one 3 shy of setting the record, told his players to intentionally foul the Rockets so as to put them on the line and avoid getting the record set against them.  After the game, Jackson had this explanation to offer:

"We're not going to lie down," Jackson said. "I was an old-school basketball player. I'm an old-school coach. If you can't appreciate that, that's on you.
"If you're going to try to get the record, we're going to stop you. ... I would expect nothing less if I was on the other side."

Jackson signalling Draymond Green to injure a Rockets player.

Okay, I can't disagree with any of that. You can't 'lie down' against anybody. Gotta play hard to the end. And if guys are jacking up 3's trying to set the record on you, especially when you're already down by 30, you just can't let that happen.  But the way you stop them from getting that record is by playing hard defense throughout the ENTIRE GAME; not intentionally fouling at the end so that the other team has to shoot free throws.  That's not 'old-school basketball' Mark, that's bush league.  That's like if a guy is coming up to bat in a blowout with 4 homeruns already and then you intentionally walk him.  Can you imagine Chuck Daley ordering Bill Laimbeer or Dennis Rodman to intentionally foul at the end of a game to stop a team from setting a 3-point record?  No, you can't imagine it.  Why? Because those Detroit Pistons never would have let you sniff the record to begin with.  Because they played 'old-school basketball' the whole game.  Mark Jackson, you're a bad person for what you did, and you should feel bad.

You Remind Me: Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed. . .

Ed Reed is only 34 right? Then why does he look like a 54-year old Frederick Douglass?  They are both Baltimore legends, so maybe this is by design?

'NBA Trash Talk: Dave and Busters; Dirty Birds; That's Gay; We've Only Just Begun

The Clippers are good.  Really good.  Almost too good.  So much so that a point guard as talented and capable as Eric Bledsoe can only get on the court for 20 minutes per game.  Once Chauncey Billups comes back from injury, expect those numbers to dwindle down to about 10-15 minutes per game.  This for a 6-foot 1-inch 23-year old who's built like a free safety, has stupid bunnies, and can fill every major statistical category on the box score with efficient scoring on any given night?  It's really not fair for us basketball fans that we don't get to see him play more.  Maybe David Stern steps in here and forces the L.A. brass to deal Bledsoe by threatening to veto the Chris Paul trade.

I broght Chris Paul into this world, I can take him out.

The Hawks scored 58 points in a game earlier this week.  That's probably not even enough points to win a game if they played in the Big Ten.  Maybe against the Wisconsin Badgers?  Joe Johnson may be the most overrated/over paid player in the history of the NBA, but for at least one game, I must admit, the Hawks really could've used him.  Even if he had to jack up 40 shots, Johnson would have made it his goal for the Hawks to at least break the 70 point barrier.  You can say it's only one bad game, but I think this really reveals a glaring problem for Atlanta.  This team was constructed around Joe.  A bunch of blue collar guys that can contribute everywhere needed on the floor but without a true consistent go to scorer.  Time to blow this thing up now...and trade Josh Smith to the Celtics.

Apparently, the ball does lie.

Of all the precarious ongoings of Knicks president James Dolan, this one takes the cake.  He's hired a guy to record Carmelo Anthony during games to hear if players are going overboard with the trash talking.  Really?  For what reason does this benefit anyone?  Are we going to start penalizing players for saying offensive things?  As if the NBA wasn't soft enough.  Great, let's start handing out fines and suspensions for this.  I can see it now:  'Chris Broussard reports Sacramento Kings F/C DeMarcus Cousins will be suspended 1-game for saying Memphis Grizzlies F Rudy Gay's 'last name suits him' and calling him his 'little bitch'.  Gay is listed as day-to-day (took it personal reasons).

"And then he said I was ugly, and I couldn't read good."

I know the NBA season just started guys, but the Lakers are 2-0!  And they're just not eeking out wins folks, they're crushing it!  They beat Kyrie Irving and the Cleveland Cavaliers (w/o Anderson Varejao) 113-93 and dismantled the Milwaukee Bucks (in L.A.) with coach Mike Brown (D'Antoni) opting to use Kobe as the key defensive stopper rather than the focal piece of the Princeton offense.  As brilliant as they've looked, they have a very tough test tonight against the defending NBA champion Miami Heat.  If they can get the W, and a Minnesota Timberwolves loss to the Clippers, that would put them at 3-0 on the season, and leave them in sole possession of 1st place (10th) in the Western Conference.  Are the Showtime Lakers back?  We will have to see!  The NBA season is back y'all, get excited!

Really?...Really?...........really?

'NBA Trash Talk: Speaking in Tongues; Passive-Agressive; No Country for Old Men; Kriss Kross, and More'

Dirk finally back, and finally producing going forward hopefully? He had 19 points today which is huge since he's basically been scoring a little bit more than Dominique Jones and Rodrigue Beaubois since his return from knee surgery some time a couple weeks ago. They lost to the Heat but it looks like some of his swagger is coming back. Shiiit, even seen him do that litte retarded sideways tongue thing, which is inspiring.

I'm back bitches!

Jose Calderon 0 points and 13 assists today and Kyle Lowry also had 0 points but nine assists. Terrence Ross dropped a career-high 26 points and Amir Johnson had 17 points seven boards. Ed Davis had a good game too, and Landry Fields is back. Could this make Toronto relevant again? And by relevant I mean...aw fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.

Baby, I just wanna hold you and never let go.

When is this Will Bynum and Rodney Stuckey flip-flop gonna end? I mean, it's really not that difficult Lawrence Frank; put Kyle Singler's ass on the bench until he starts producing and start Stuckey while finding ways to get Bynum the basketball more. I know you don't want to disrupt team chemistry and blah-blah but fuck that. You're not making the playoffs. At least let the fans see the best available players play the most significant amount of minutes.

I don't care if he's 1-for-13 Rodney, he hasn't played 30 minutes yet.

Avery Bradley came back today. I would say his stat line but it's not really important. The Celtics suck ass right now and it's really very frustrating. Two HOFers and Rajon Rondo but no type of inside game whatsoever outside of Jared Sullinger. Brandon Bass looks lost on this roster. Jeff Green can play a little, but that's only on offense. Any big man that faces the C's imposes their will on them. Case in point: Joakim Noah and DeMarcus Cousins each have triple-doubles this year. Both games have come against Boston. I won't say anymore, this rant will take forever.

But Doc, I ain't played center since the 5th grade!

It's not the end of the world that the Clippers have lost two games in a row guys, they're just looking at the monstrous margin they've built between themselves and the Western Conference (with the exception of San Antonio) and saying, "mane, we can coast most nights" and they're probably right. They got spanked on the road by the Warriors, who have 16-year old guards Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Ain't nobody got time for chasing them young boys up and down the court all night. Especially when you have a "Look Who's On Top Now?" game coming up on Friday against the Lakers.

We finna play y'all in 5 days.  Yup, me and Klay.

It's finally been confirmed today that D.J. Augustin is in fact alive and well and does stil participate in the National Basketball Association. Augustin, who had so many dazzling plays when he was the University of Texas point guard that no one thought he would turn out worse than T.J. Ford or Daniel Gibson (at least Boobie fuckin Keyshia Cole though), but has in fact found himself to on the path to the D-League, a place where neither of the two aformentioned preceding Longhorn point men have ever achieved. Luckily, George Hill got hurt and Augustin has been seeing starters minutes and actually producing. 18 points, 6 dimes, and 4 boards sounds like what we would expect him to average on a nightly basis, but for now it will suffice as some sort of a pulse that Augustin isn't dead in this league just yet.

Mane...y'all niggas all in shape and shit.

Which brings us to Jameer Nelson and the ongoing Yahoo! Fantasy Basketball saga for yours truly. You see, Nelson is one of those guys that will either have an 8 point-8 turnover game, or a drop 30 with 5 three's, or tweak his ankle and miss four games in a row. On this particular night, Yahoo!, who uses Rotoworld.com reports, still had him with the "injured" icon, yet he played and had 32 freakin points...from my bench of course. Look, I know it's my fault: I should've checked his injury status 5 minutes before the game started, but Jesus H. Christ, can they find a way that you can check a box for a player to start if he's going to be available to play, and as soon as they receive notification, it swaps him for the scrubby utility guy (in this case, Carlos Delfino, who lit up for 2 whole points) of your liking? It's 2013. Get on this guys.

Damn, shoelaces fucked up...I ain't playin' to somebody fix this shit.

EJECTED.

JORDAN vs. KOBE.

How were the LAKERS able to comeback against Mike Jordan's BOBCATS for the win last night?  MJ gave KOBE some key advice before the game...ADEDS S/O to Sam Higgins for the caption!

Clay Matthews doing the 'Val Venis'

It's an ACTUAL dance, called the "Val Venis"...Youtube it shawty!  #knowhatimtalkinbout?

H-TOWN.

0*

JAY CUTLER.

SNOOP LION.

ORLANDO.

'8 Things To Be Happy About Now That The 2011-12 NBA Season Is Over'

8.  Metta World Peace

Metta World Peace is cooler to use as a VERB than it is as a NOUN. 

7.  Greg Stiemsma

The CELTICS have two future HOFers to build around in Rajon Rondo and Greg Stiemsma a.k.a. 'The Next Bill Russell'.

6.  Mark Jackson

By this time next year, Mark Jackson will be back where he belongs . . . calling games for ESPN. 

5.  Stan Van Gundy

Stan Van Gundy went out in ORLANDO the way everyone expected him to. . . as AWKWARDLY as he possibly could.

4.  Charlotte Bobcats

You're better at YOUR JOB than Michael Jordan is at his.

3.  Kyrie Irving

One year closer to Kyrie Irving deciding to take his TALENTS to somewhere other than CLEVELAND.

2.  Jeremy Lin

Any Asian, at any level, that's good at ball, from now on, will be given the nickname JEREMY LIN.

1.  NBA Finals

Atleast LEBRON JAMES didn't do the EYEBALL THING in the Finals EVERY SINGLE TIME he scored a key basket.

Throwbackz: '8 Worst Cornrows In Sports History'

8. Rasheed Wallace

I like Sheed.  And these 'rows ain't that bad.  But this is a case of 'mid-life crisis 'rows' because no one in their right mind and over the age of 35 should have cornrows.  Just wondering how he pulled that off with the bald-spot in the back?

7. Brandon Jennings

Why not just stick with the high-top fade?

6. Amar'e Stoudemire

Amar'e is one of the most fashionable players in the NBA.  He rocks the Buddy Holly-style glasses goggles that look alot cooler than the goofy Coke-bottle ones Horace Grant used to wear.  But it's 2012.  Why bring back the cornrows Amar'e?  One poor decision usually leads to . . . another poor decision.

5. Bronson Arroyo

White guys are always walking a fine line when it comes to donning Black styled fashions, and cornrows are no different.  These 'rows ain't that bad . . . they just don't look as cool on this guy.  But they look better than this next guy . . .

4. David Beckham

Cornrows are an urban-American style.  So when a upperclass-European rocks them, it just makes you wanna cringe.  Plus, white-boy 'rows don't last but a day or two because their hair is too straight (the only historical advantage of having nappy hair is that its good to braid) and they have to take the blonde highlights out first because you gets no street cred for Garnier Nutrisse 'rows.

3. Jerry Rice

The NFL's G.O.A.T. with a bad case of mid-life crisis rows.  Not only did it hurt to see #80 rockin' the black and silver after a HOF career with the 49ers, these receding hairline cornrows left alot to be desired.  Good thing he wore a helmet most of the time.

2. Brad Miller

Good Christ, Brad Miller.  Good fckin' Christ.

1. Kimbo Slice

These were either gonna be the best cornrows of all-time or the worst ever, because there is just no middle-ground with these.  Maybe the best because, it takes some kinda balls to have cornrows when you have more hair on your face and chest than you do on your head, but you get the head hair 'rowed anyway.  But that's a big goddamn maybe.

You Remind Me: Robert Griffin III . . .

I see PRIDE . . . I see POWAH . . .

Heisman Trophy winner and future NFL quarterback Robert Griffin III reminds me of actor Doug E. Doug a/k/a "Sanka" from the movie Cool Runnings.  RGIII rushed for 2,199 yards and 32 touchdowns in his career at Baylor and clocked a 4.41 40-yard dash time at the 2012 NFL Combine.  It's only fitting that I refer to Griffin as 'Cool Runnings' from here on in.

Bad Week . . .

Any Melo could be a scapegoat this week.

If you play basketball and your name is 'Melo', then you're probably having a bad week.  The New York Knicks have lost six-straight games after playing pretty well when Carmelo Anthony was injured.  Now he's back and the Knicks look like they have some big time chemistry issues to deal with.  Anthony could barely get a touch late in the 4th quarter in the 104-99 loss to the Chicago Bulls March 12th, though he did manage to put up a team-high 21 shots, connecting on only eight of them . . . Fab Melo might've ended any shot Syracuse had to win its first National Championship since 2003, when Carmelo Anthony himself played there.  The sophomore center from Brazil has been ruled out for the entire NCAA Tournament for academic reasons.  Melo sat out three games earlier this season for not hitting the books hard enough and the Orange lost their only game of the regular season during that stretch (they were 30-1 entering the Big East Tournament).  Now Syracuse enters the Big Dance without Melo's 2.93 blocks per game, and removes another big man from team that already struggles on the defensive boards.

Welcome Back, Gerald Green!

Gerald Green (Gulf Shores Academy - Houston,TX) - 2005 NBA Draft, Round 1, 18th overall, selected by Boston Celtics

Current NBA Team: New Jersey Nets (on second 10-day contract)
NBA Teams Played For Before 2012: Boston Celtics, 2005-07, Minnesota Timberwolves, 2007-08, Houston Rockets, 2008, Dallas Mavericks, 2008-09
Non-NBA Teams Played For: PBC Lokomotiv-Kuban (Russia), 2009-10, BC Krasnye Krylia (Russia), 2010-11, Foshon Dralions (China), 2011, Los Angeles D-Fenders (D-League), 2011-12

*career history courtesy of Wikipedia 

Guess Who?

#5 - Nod Washington, Miami (OH) aka PLIES

'Happy Leap Day!!!'

Jerome Simpson with an all-time great leap.