ADEDS 2016 MLB All-Swaggy Team

The crack research department at ADEDS has spent the entire year documenting and charting the copacetic manneurisms and fresh-to-death idiosynracies of majorly Major League Baseball players.

We did that, so you won't have to.

Only 10 can make a top 10 we would be remiss if we didn't mention these fine ball players and all-star level swaggicians:

Melvin Upton, Jr., OF, Toronto Blue Jays

The player formerly known as B.J. "Bossman Jr." Upton ain't soft now that he goes by Melvin.  Adding the Jr. to your name is a trendy thing but not for Bossman.  He'll still back hand a trick if he has to.
Always has, always will.

Bryce Harper, OF, Washington Nationals

Bryce had a tough year at the plate but he definitely didn't struggle in the hair and beard department.
To be expected. 

Jose Altuve, 2B, Houston Astros

Baseball's Mighty Mouse.
It doesn't matter that his teammates have to bend down to celebrate with him; the joy and grit in which he plays with is unmatched. 

Jayson Werth, OF, Washington Nationals

Classic lumberjack here.
If Paul Bunyan and Jesus had a child, his name would be Jayson Werth.

Brett Lawrie, IF, Chicago White Sox

Brett is already one of the most tatted players in the MLB, and has shown us a strong Oakley frame game over the years. But up the ante with a 'vampire fangs' mouthguard??
Sure. Why not?

Mookie Betts, OF, Boston Red Sox

Gold Cuban link chunk chain plus O'Shea Jackson scowl circa 1992.
This man is a legend. 

Javier Baez, 2B, Chicago Cubs

It's pretty much mandatory that the swaggiest Puerto Rican player be on this team, and in 2016, Javy was that guy.  The retro Jordan 1 custom cleats pictured here only made it a cinch.

Brandon Crawford, SS, San Francisco Giants

Classic Son's of Anarchy.
Those black batting gloves he uses for clutch hitting are probably the same one's he uses to clutch the throttle on his Harley.

David Ortiz, DH, Boston Red Sox

It's Papi's world and we're just living in it.

Noah Syndergaard, P, New York Mets

His nickname is Thor, and it's not just because of his Scandinavian features, and the fact that his fastball hammers the strike zone with the force of Mjölnir.
Actually, nevermind.
It is.

Franciso Lindor, SS, Cleveland Indians

Going with multiple rosary beads over multiple gold chains is a nice touch.  Also, he is the first player in MLB history to still look cool while playing in stirrups.

David Ross, C, Chicago Cubs

The enforcer.
If manager Joe Maddon is the mad scientist alà Walter White, then David Ross is Mike Ehrmantrout.

Josh Donaldson, 3B, Toronto Blue Jays

Classic country boy redneck.
They should let Donaldson play in a mesh trucker hat and deer hunting camo.
He'd still hit 450-foot homers.

Johnny Cueto, P, San Francisco Giants

Besides honing about 15 different deliveries, including the vaunted "shimmy", Cueto's dreadlocks and Bubble Yum game give him an heir of nonchalance on a scale that no mere mortal can even comprehend as attainable.

That's it.
Feel like someone got snubbed?
Feel free to admonish me in the comments.
Also any emerging candidates for next year leave in the comments.  Might help with a preseason All-Swaggy team.

Throwbackz: Ken Griffey, Jr. Presents Major League Baseball

Posted on the All Day E'ry Day Sportz Facebook page 11/21/12...

 

Few were better.  None did it with more swagger.

I would like to give a big S/O to ADEDS legendary All-Star, and future MLB HOFer, George Kenneth Griffey, Jr. on his 43rd birthday. JUNIOR is to baseball what JERRY RICE is to football--you will be hard-pressed to find someone that says they didn't like him or the way he played the game. Swagger just dripped off THE KID in every facet imaginable...from the sway in his batting stance, and subsequent silky smooth swing, to the gazelle like grace he ran with in the outfield, right before he leapt in the air at the centerfield wall to calmly rob a home run...no question, Griffey was slicker than a Cadillac on ice...not to mention, he came out with possibly THE BEST baseball video game of all-time and had a dope a$$ movie cameo...no one nowaday is really fckn with that...SALUTE!
-Mr. AllDayEryDay

 

 

You Remind Me: ESPN analyst Doug Glanville . . .

Doug Glanville=Chris Rock

You remind me of Chris Rock, Baseball Tonight analyst and former major leaguer Doug Glanville (except that you are not funny at all or even slightly entertaining in any way; and your a horrible baseball analyst, too).

'Joey Bats, Shining in the Box'

If Bautista keeps this pace he'll join elite company.

Yes, I know that Boston Red Sox first baseman Adrian Gonzalez leads the American League in hits and batting average (not to mention he's got that silky smooth swing), and of course we all know the track record that guys like St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols and New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez have as the top hitters in baseball, but Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista deserves more credit than anybody right now because of the numbers he has put up in the first half of this 2011 season.  Bautista is viewed solely as a power hitter, and based on last years numbers, when he hit a ML best 54 homeruns but batted only .265, it seems hard to argue otherwise.  But through the first 84 games this year, Bautista is second to Gonzalez in the AL batting .334, and is first in homeruns (31), and fourth in runs batted in (65).  Like sabermetrics?  Look up Bautista on baseball-reference.com and see the slew of categories he leads the AL in. Stats don't always tell the story but at the same time numbers don't lie.  The most impressive stat: Bautista is slugging .702 and has an on-base percentage of .468, giving him an OPS (on-base percentage plus slugging) of 1.170.  If he continues at this pace, the man they call Joey Bats will put himself in the company of some of the most legendary single seasons that baseball has ever seen.  His OPS is on pace to be the 34th best for a single season in major league history; behind Lou Gehrig in 1934  and just ahead of Mickey Mantle in 1956.  Also, when you look at the fact that not only is he hitting for power, but also for average, he enters an even more elite group of players.  Below is the list of players who have slugged .700 or better with atleast a .330 batting average for a season all-time.


+Babe Ruth (1921) .846 SLG, .378 BA
+Barry Bonds (2004) .812, .362
+Lou Gehrig (1927) .765, .373
+Rogers Hornsby (1925) .756, .403
*Jeff Bagwell (1994) .750, .368 
+Jimmie Foxx (1932) .749, .364
+Ted Williams (1941) .735, .406
*Frank Thomas (1994) .729, .353 
Hack Wilson (1930) .723, .356
*Albert Belle (1994) .714, .357 
+Larry Walker (1999) .710, .379 
Al Simmons (1930) .708, .381 
Mickey Mantle (1956) .705, .353 
Stan Musial (1948) .702, .376

+ Player achieved milestone more than once in career; best season of combined slugging and batting average listed.
*Strike shortened season; no team played more than 117 games.

Look, I'm not putting Joey Bats into the Hall of Fame or anything, I'm just saying the props the man gets is not equivalent to the absolute pillage he has been putting on this season.  It hurts him alot that A-Gon is making AL pitching look like its soft toss, and that the Blue Jays are usually a lock to finish no better than third place in the division, but I'll be watching to see if he can stay at this pace or better in these next few months.

***statistics courtesy of baseball-reference.com