Thursday, May 3, 2012

Throwbackz: '8 Worst Cornrows In Sports History'

8. Rasheed Wallace

I like Sheed.  And these 'rows ain't that bad.  But this is a case of 'mid-life crisis 'rows' because no one in their right mind and over the age of 35 should have cornrows.  Just wondering how he pulled that off with the bald-spot in the back?

7. Brandon Jennings

Why not just stick with the high-top fade?

6. Amar'e Stoudemire

Amar'e is one of the most fashionable players in the NBA.  He rocks the Buddy Holly-style glasses goggles that look alot cooler than the goofy Coke-bottle ones Horace Grant used to wear.  But it's 2012.  Why bring back the cornrows Amar'e?  One poor decision usually leads to . . . another poor decision.

5. Bronson Arroyo

White guys are always walking a fine line when it comes to donning Black styled fashions, and cornrows are no different.  These 'rows ain't that bad . . . they just don't look as cool on this guy.  But they look better than this next guy . . .

4. David Beckham

Cornrows are an urban-American style.  So when a upperclass-European rocks them, it just makes you wanna cringe.  Plus, white-boy 'rows don't last but a day or two because their hair is too straight (the only historical advantage of having nappy hair is that its good to braid) and they have to take the blonde highlights out first because you gets no street cred for Garnier Nutrisse 'rows.

3. Jerry Rice

The NFL's G.O.A.T. with a bad case of mid-life crisis rows.  Not only did it hurt to see #80 rockin' the black and silver after a HOF career with the 49ers, these receding hairline cornrows left alot to be desired.  Good thing he wore a helmet most of the time.

2. Brad Miller

Good Christ, Brad Miller.  Good fckin' Christ.

1. Kimbo Slice

These were either gonna be the best cornrows of all-time or the worst ever, because there is just no middle-ground with these.  Maybe the best because, it takes some kinda balls to have cornrows when you have more hair on your face and chest than you do on your head, but you get the head hair 'rowed anyway.  But that's a big goddamn maybe.

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