Saturday, August 10, 2013

'The Honey Snatcher'

If Tyrann is the 'Honey Badger'...then Shabbazz is the 'Honey Snatcher.
'I finally made it.  After years of dominating the AAU and prep circuits with rather deft ease, I now get the chance to prove myself as a professional in the National Basketball Association.  Yeah, I had to spend a year at some uppity university in California first, and play with some scrubs not one-fifteenth as good as me, which contributed to my plummeting draft stock.  But that's over with and really doesn't mean anything because I'm here now.  In the League. 

Get me on the court and I'm trouble.  6-foot 8-inches tall with a 7-foot wingspan and a smooth lefty stroke?  Teams that passed on me will PAY.  Just look at how I dominated the summer league.  I got everything going for me.  Plus, I look good doing it.

Only thing standing in my though is this dumbass rookie bootcamp I gotta attend.  Really though, what's with all the goddamn rules???  I mean, I get that there's rules and errythang, but, why should they apply to me?  I've never been in trouble for anything before in my life.  And even when they try to throw something at me, I just duck and dodge it.  Nothing sticks to me...I'm basketball's 'Teflon Don'. 

They're trippin. I'm a baller in every sense of the word, and U.O.E.N.O. it.  I'mma have all types of bottles poppin' and honeys at my hotel on the road when the season starts anyway.  Why I gotta wait for the season to start???  You know what...damn these rules!  They can't get me anyway.  I'm Shabbazz Muhammad.  Made man.  The untouchable honey snatcher.'