Thursday, January 3, 2013

'NBA Trash Talk: Speaking in Tongues; Passive-Agressive; No Country for Old Men; Kriss Kross, and More'

Dirk finally back, and finally producing going forward hopefully? He had 19 points today which is huge since he's basically been scoring a little bit more than Dominique Jones and Rodrigue Beaubois since his return from knee surgery some time a couple weeks ago. They lost to the Heat but it looks like some of his swagger is coming back. Shiiit, even seen him do that litte retarded sideways tongue thing, which is inspiring.

I'm back bitches!

Jose Calderon 0 points and 13 assists today and Kyle Lowry also had 0 points but nine assists. Terrence Ross dropped a career-high 26 points and Amir Johnson had 17 points seven boards. Ed Davis had a good game too, and Landry Fields is back. Could this make Toronto relevant again? And by relevant I fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.

Baby, I just wanna hold you and never let go.

When is this Will Bynum and Rodney Stuckey flip-flop gonna end? I mean, it's really not that difficult Lawrence Frank; put Kyle Singler's ass on the bench until he starts producing and start Stuckey while finding ways to get Bynum the basketball more. I know you don't want to disrupt team chemistry and blah-blah but fuck that. You're not making the playoffs. At least let the fans see the best available players play the most significant amount of minutes.

I don't care if he's 1-for-13 Rodney, he hasn't played 30 minutes yet.

Avery Bradley came back today. I would say his stat line but it's not really important. The Celtics suck ass right now and it's really very frustrating. Two HOFers and Rajon Rondo but no type of inside game whatsoever outside of Jared Sullinger. Brandon Bass looks lost on this roster. Jeff Green can play a little, but that's only on offense. Any big man that faces the C's imposes their will on them. Case in point: Joakim Noah and DeMarcus Cousins each have triple-doubles this year. Both games have come against Boston. I won't say anymore, this rant will take forever.

But Doc, I ain't played center since the 5th grade!

It's not the end of the world that the Clippers have lost two games in a row guys, they're just looking at the monstrous margin they've built between themselves and the Western Conference (with the exception of San Antonio) and saying, "mane, we can coast most nights" and they're probably right. They got spanked on the road by the Warriors, who have 16-year old guards Steph Curry and Klay Thompson. Ain't nobody got time for chasing them young boys up and down the court all night. Especially when you have a "Look Who's On Top Now?" game coming up on Friday against the Lakers.

We finna play y'all in 5 days.  Yup, me and Klay.

It's finally been confirmed today that D.J. Augustin is in fact alive and well and does stil participate in the National Basketball Association. Augustin, who had so many dazzling plays when he was the University of Texas point guard that no one thought he would turn out worse than T.J. Ford or Daniel Gibson (at least Boobie fuckin Keyshia Cole though), but has in fact found himself to on the path to the D-League, a place where neither of the two aformentioned preceding Longhorn point men have ever achieved. Luckily, George Hill got hurt and Augustin has been seeing starters minutes and actually producing. 18 points, 6 dimes, and 4 boards sounds like what we would expect him to average on a nightly basis, but for now it will suffice as some sort of a pulse that Augustin isn't dead in this league just yet.

Mane...y'all niggas all in shape and shit.

Which brings us to Jameer Nelson and the ongoing Yahoo! Fantasy Basketball saga for yours truly. You see, Nelson is one of those guys that will either have an 8 point-8 turnover game, or a drop 30 with 5 three's, or tweak his ankle and miss four games in a row. On this particular night, Yahoo!, who uses reports, still had him with the "injured" icon, yet he played and had 32 freakin points...from my bench of course. Look, I know it's my fault: I should've checked his injury status 5 minutes before the game started, but Jesus H. Christ, can they find a way that you can check a box for a player to start if he's going to be available to play, and as soon as they receive notification, it swaps him for the scrubby utility guy (in this case, Carlos Delfino, who lit up for 2 whole points) of your liking? It's 2013. Get on this guys.

Damn, shoelaces fucked up...I ain't playin' to somebody fix this shit.

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