Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Ballin' Outta Control

On tha ground, or in tha air, Peppers delivers.
Julius Peppers is a beast.  The man ain't no ordinary defensive end; he's an all around athlete with the agility of a free safety and the body frame of Frankenstein. We've seen Julius on the gridiron, a steam engine, plowing through offensive lineman en route to the quarterback. But have you ever seen him on the hardwood, running the floor on the break and skying above the rim to catch and throwdown alley-oops?  Yeah, Peppers was big man on campus at North Carolina for the Tar Heels in the early 2000s, playing in the NCAA Tournament twice in his career.  He's not the only guy in the NFL though that could hoop in college.  Donovan McNabb played for Jim Boeheim at Syracuse long before Melo did and Antonio Gates didn't even put on pads while at Kent State; he was too busy averaging 17-and-8 for the Golden Flashes basketball team.  There's alotta guys in the NFL that I think would've been nice at ball too, even thought they didn't play in college . . .

The Johnson Brothers
5.  Andre Johnson, WR, Houston Texans, 6-3 225.  I can picture this smooth route runner pushing the rock in transition and going in for a Jason Richardson-like tomahawk dunk or pulling up for the outside 'J' like, say, Joe Johnson . . . they kinda look alike anyway.

4.  Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots, 6-4 225.  He's not quick but tell me he wouldn't be the smartest player on the floor!?!?  I can see Tom Terrific being  a combination of Larry Bird and Steve Nash.  Bird for the court vision, pinpoint passing and anticipation, and knack for coming up big when it matters the most.  Nash because of the haircut. (I can see Brady tucking his hair back behind his ears while standing at the free-throw line  and waiting for the ref to hand him the ball, bending his knees while repeating his follow through, then blowing a kiss to Giselle in the stands.)

The Greatest Boston Athlete Ever
3.  Chad Ochocinco, WR, Cincinnati Bengals, 6-1 192.  The only player in the league with a big enough ego to compete with LeBron's.  The antics would be so hilarious that David Stern would hate him immediately.  (How about the Black Mamba vs. The Black Mexican?)He'd be like A.I., the Glove, Rodman, and Shaq rolled into one.  He'd be the biggest trash-talker on the court: "You think anyone in tha league could guard me????, CHILD PLEASE."

2.  Brian Urlacher, LB, Chicago Bears, 6-4 258.  I'd bring him in off the bench as a defender and enforcer; ya know, throw around his weight and rough up Kobe.

1.  Mike Vick, QB, Philadelphia Eagles, 6-0 215.  A throwback floor general in the mold of Isaiah Thomas. Outside of Chris Paul and Rajon Rondo, no one in the league would be faster with the ball in their hands than Vick.  If you don't think so just watch his NFL highlight reel and witness the ridiculous ability to change direction and just flat out make people look stupid.  Nuff said.

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